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*Pleasure Spiked With Pain*

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Tuesday, January 24th, 2017
9:15 pm - Thoughts on a date with my phone
-The bar after work is Scranton's living room. That's where I am now. I love a good bar when it's dead. Tuesday 7pm at the Bog, say, or Wednesday night at the Dugout. Kildares most weekdays 6-8, if I want to say hi to Dad and the Irish Navy. The Keys on Thursday. That's when people will talk to you.

-This is why I can't do Facebook these days. It's a frothy sea of rage and righteous indignation...and hypocrisy! On Facebook I'd probably have many hard feelings, and nothing to say, to the people I freely and pleasantly converse with over a nice beer. That guy with the man bun who hates cops. The former president of the Republicans local organization, who I sang "The Parting Glass" with after 722's funeral, arm in arm. Those 21-year-olds who sang with me because they're in a Blink-182 cover group and I know all their songs. The guy from ***** Ave who called about the neighbor's dog shitting in his yard, recognizing me out. A beautiful hippie earth mom who used to babysit me. I like hearing people's stories. But their politics and opinions would never be welcome jammed down my throat while I'm trying to enjoy pictures of people's cute cats and dogs.

- I am introverted. But long ago, I decided if I am so forced to interact with strangers for work, then I'm going to use that same skill for my own enjoyment, too. If I have to put up with the assholes I also demand to meet some storytellers.

-a synopsis of things that interest me follows, in what order I consider them worthy of my attention.
--My family & BF, my cats, my job, my health....
--(300 down the list) Pop's lilac bushes, pretty shoes, someone's choice of karaoke songs, how my D Dhi E sister's kid dressed for Dr. Seuss day at whatever school in whatever county....
--(3,000 down the list)...someone's favorite Bruce Springstein Song, someone's political opinion, someone's favorite Steven Segal movie...
...I am getting too much of something that is too unimportant.

- I got a new radio at work today. Before that I had the oldest radio in the department. My last battery, which dies every day around 15:30, was from 2011. The officer who was surveying what supplies were needed to be ordered in 2017 noted: "Katie's radio is HORRENDOUS." I had to hold the battery in place just to speak on it. I love the new radio but it keeps beeping since I got to the bar. I wish I know what the beeping means. Oh madness!

-"and I think she was in a Now What Phase for several years."

-The book Harriet the Spy continues to be relevant in my life. BF and I talked about it the other day. It's the book where I first learned about animal control and cat hoarders. It also contained the quote "there are as many ways to live as there are people in the world." -Golly. I still keep it in mind more days than not, since I meet so many people I should find odd, but don't. I have to say, the 1996 movie was great but did NOT match the pictures in my head. Golly was supposed to be an old lady, not Rosie ODonnell. Harriet was supposed to be more ordinary looking, homlier, in an awkward phase, not delicate gamine Michele Trachtenberg, who I loved as Nona.

-the bartender is staring in amazement at a show about Rachel Carson. This makes me think more highly of him.

-I've decided to put myself on a diet in which I am limited to 2 beers a day. I am making a decision against my own interests because I'm walking home on a freezing night, and I want a third beer.

-I NEED to read "the sea around us" by Rachel Carson.

- lately I'm admiring people who want to put their heads in the sand. What else CAN we do? With so many idiots forcing you to hear their abstract, unexamined opinions! The same people who wear clothes made by children chained to machines and call it a deal at Target! The same people who pay $1000 to a psychic! The same people who drink 195 liters of name-brand soda per year! I'm simultaneously proud of the women marching - our rights are so fragile! - and curious about how many of them have babies with men who beat them and threaten them; how many of them spread their legs for monsters? How many of them voted meaningfully? How many of them drive Hummers or pay for gyms they don't go to and apps they don't use? I'm in the fight, but as BF said, "I oil things before they break." I vote in the little elections. I work a man's job and demand all the things a man would for the same work, which is generally given me. The cop even said to the coroner once, "it doesn't bother her; she can handle it." By "it" he meant "a decaying human corpse." Nbd. I'd never said I could handle that but it was a compliment to be expected to handle this responsibility.

-that's the thing about privilege. People only want one side of it. I want equal rights, but don't want to be drafted to military duty. I'd do it if I had to, and probably kick ass, but no I'd settle for 80% of men's rights if I can not be draft-eligible. I'm in law enforcement, but it's not a power trip about giving shit to people I don't like (or a license to drop all the skunks off at marywood!) it's mostly service to people who have needs. That's non-negotiable.

-"Free at last to do nothing but write, Carson found the task utterly impossible."

-"that moment in Bring It On when Cliff and Torrance are brushing their teeth" -Tom


(no bother, please do)

Wednesday, July 20th, 2016
1:11 am - Putting the Rant On in Scranton
A Rant About Working People's Problems - I Know Nobody CaresCollapse )

For many of the above-mentioned reasons, many people in our area may be susceptible to voting for Trump. Many people here hate him, but will vote for him anyway to punish Americans they feel exploited and threatened by. My prediction is that Trump will win, even without my vote. Yuppies who conduct their lives chiefly online, in the light of what everyone thinks of them, will see to that. I talk to my educated friends and what's wrong with them? They're voting third party. They're writing in Bernie. They're writing in "Deez Nuts." They're protesting by not voting. They want me to think they're so clever, so cool - can you believe that's actually people's priority. Only the very safe would do that, and a lot of people have to be unsafe JUST SO they can live in their bubble...and so they can bitch, whine, litigate, and condemn anyone actually doing anything they wouldn't wanna do. It's no longer a dog-eat-dog world. This is now a dog-eat-the-hand-that-feeds-it world.

It's a reversal of the social order. Doing the right thing is looked down on and punished. Being an asshole is cool and rewarded.

I guess it won't be better in the morning, but I'll just count my blessings, like my cousin's getting married soon, and my parents are healthier than most parents, my (physical) health is holding out, and I have a really good boyfriend <3 That's what you gotta do to survive.
I try to think about how I can make my corner of the world better in small ways. I'll be nice to people. I'm taken advantage of again and again, and that has to stop, but I can be kind. In my work I will treat people with as much compassion as the situation allows, and where I will be judgmental, it will be strictly along lines of types of asshole human behavior, rather than along lines of categories of humans - "take people as you find them," my dad says. I will introduce no hostility to any encounter. My behavior at work treating people like people does more than liking and sharing anything in the wars online, and I must do my part for a better world. And save any animal I can.

Here's a look at the past week. It has been crazy.


Those are fixed ferals ready for "return."


Those are fleas. That kitten is anemic because this kitten is a keg that the fleas have almost kicked. EDIT FROM THE FUTURE: kitten's happy, healthy, loved, and in his own home. Phew!


Those are mats. Those are what happens when an animal's coat is neglected for extensive periods of time. This cat is 18 and so sweet, so friendly, so good...but so sick. Won't drink any liquids. Cried in my beer a lot this day.


That's Beyonce walking on the roof off the deck while BF builds me new back stairs. All I want is what I already have.


Socializing the little feral fluffball from my mechanic friends is going well. Molly's boss is gonna take him when he's fully reformed.


That's Winnie being wacky on my back deck screen.







BF built me some back porch steps!



Nothing about this situation would be believed, so I'm not going to bother telling. All's well that ends well, I hope.


This happened today.


Poor thing. From the hoarder house last month, caught today. They're not all happy stories. This is the shape they tend to be in - thin, terrified, riddled with sores. Gave him a very big meal with lots of soft food.


Molly and Maggie at the sink, Brigid dancing <3 Isn't Maggie's house lovely?


Ready for the picnic at Maggie's! Liberty Bell torta.


Finally found the right frame for a print I ordered a while ago. My home will be a gallery for art that makes me happy whenever I see it. This artist lives in my town and creates worlds that look like the backdrop settings of many of my dreams. If I had more courage I would make art like this. The bubble frame is very old. My mom found it for me at a flea market in Brooklyn when we went to visit Molly and Tom. I like old things and these paintings. They work with the beauty of my home and harmonize with the parts of my mind that I like.


Beach Panked! Photo by Ronak.

current mood: pessimistic

(no bother, please do)

Thursday, June 30th, 2016
11:40 pm - paradise lost
6/30/16 Thu.

When I get my hair done, I make them leave my grays. Hez is great - they serve free wine and they're across the street so I can actually drink it. And look how nice they do hair! This masterpiece was done by Jess, who acted like people ask her to leave their grays every day, even offered to turn me all gray if I wanted. I should have told her my job would take care of that over time.

6/29/16 Wed.

A puddin' pie using my tv remote as a pillow <3 <3 <3

6/28/16 Tue.

Foster babies eating breakfast. It was my house or death. One of the black ones is going to my mom's co-worker at 6 weeks. Now they are 3 weeks. Lilith, Fraidy, Benny, and Alonzo. I always name foster pets.

6/27/16 Mon.

Here is a lovely close-up from a house of filth and squalor. I don't know what sort of drug pipe that is but it's in a house full of baby stuff. Up and left the pets when they got evicted. Human life is just so precious and special sometimes I can barely handle it.

6/26/16 Sun.

We are ready for the 4th! BF and my dad helped.

6/25/16 Sat.

One of my new guests I took home from the receiving counter pictured 6/16. Part of a photo shoot for a prospective owner :)

6/24/16 Fri.

BF gave me lilies he grew himself <3 <3 <3 and Lily is smelling them <3

6/23/16 Thu.

I got called to the chief's office because everyone wanted to play with the found puppy.

6/22/16 Wed.

So, uh...Nan died 2 years ago but the last paint she used on her palette IS STILL WET.
I have an idea. I should learn to paint ceramic plates and tiles like she did.

6/21/16 Tues.

Sam's Bday at the Bog...with sparklers!

6/20/16 Mon.

My work van every time I get in.

6/19/16 Sun.

My great aunt's house is being sold and it's dumpster time for all her beautiful art and things.

Not on BF's watch!

This is the third trip where we're filling up the Jeep with everything that didn't sell at the estate sale or get claimed by the family. I can't let art or art supplies be destroyed. Or white porcelain cat statues. Or huge 50's beveled glass buffet mirrors. Or old-growth hardwood boards - they don't make wood like that anymore.

I'm either going to end up with a home full of beautiful things, or a hopeless hoarder. I wish there was a patron saint of decluttering to help me with this.

Nan was cool, I miss her.

6/18/16 Sat.

Yesterday's kitten almost died. She was running around at a really busy Turkey Hill gas station, and ran up into the wheel well of an idling car at a gas pump. I reached up in and pulled her out, even though she was wild - whatever, I just had a rabies shot in March, I should be good even if the DOH can't officially agree. So now yesterday's kitty is alive and well at my house.

Officer B. had a ride-along that day from the college, who helped save her. She is trying to convince her family they should let her take this kitten home :)

Lily loves baby foster kitties; she's so maternal. This baby kitty isn't so scared or wild anymore. She looks like a baby Lily <3

6/17/16 Fri.

Walk home sky.

6/16/16 Thu.

Receiving again with today's big haul. 9 lives, one in each cat. This can be a terrible sight, depending how full the shelter is, if fosters or homes are available or not.

A foster at the shelter took the calico and orange ones. The teeny tinies - 4 2or 3 week old kittens in the big crate - were at the end of the line, so I took them. Then there was a spot at the shelter available for the last one in the crate, a healthy older kitten who was able to be put in with another cat at the shelter.

Tomorrow's cats, tho.

6/15/16 Wed.

Don't I know that face?
It's Meep! I fostered her in April when she and her siblings were a week old. Nan and Pangabahn were adopted (names changed now), but Meep has upper respiratory infection so she has to get better first. She looked better today :) Thanks Meep, I needed a reminder why I put up with so much awful. It's for stories like these.

As Dr. Who put it, "Just this once, EVERYBODY LIVES!"

6/14/16 Tue.

Scene from my walk to work (or from work?) Listening to a song called "Pink Cigarette."

6/13/16 Mon.

BF took me to "The Force Awakens" and Cooper's. On the way home from Cooper's, we sat in traffic until we figured out who was going and who was stopping. This looks like a job for Car 53.

6/12/16 Sun.

Sunday in the Summit at Shakespeare in the Park. BF's Emmy award winning cousin came in and our friend KK - the soothsayer - was acting in Julius Caesar.

6/11/16 Sat.

BF finishing my porch foundation by oil lamp light. It's almost done! He's a natural at masonry. This is your Saturday night on homeowning.



Full disclosure: this was taken the 7th, but the only picture I took on the 9th was of dog poop. Part of my job requires dog poop photography. It's evidence for charging people when they leave too much dog poop everywhere. I'd post it but it was an unusually gross amount of turd piles, and I don't want to look at it. Shit happens.


Let's not talk about work today. Let's talk about the genius use of underbar space at the Bog.


This would be so cute if it wasn't about to be so depressing. This is zoomed in - there were more like a dozen cats in this photo. I could show you that, but these lovers holding hands on the windowsill got me choked up. All I could think of was Jack and Rose, no idea they're holding hands on the Titanic after it just hit an iceberg.

They don't know what I know. I want to cry. I don't want them to die. I keep a straight face. I have to think about that later, but not now. There's so much to do now.

It's a cat house.

The smell would knock you over.

I got sent inside because I could fit through the window, and the sgt thought someone had to be dead in there. It's never a good day when anyone asks me, "Are you ok to go in if they might be dead in there?" No one was dead, but the cats numbered the stars. They were feral of temperament, but not of survival skills - what makes hoarding so tragic. Nowhere can accommodate that combination of cat behavior. There were a few very sick looking kittens I couldn't catch, and spreading illness was evident in the adults.

It's been full of quietly inbreeding cats for who knows how long. Then whoever lived there had to leave - circumstances unknown - and their only choice was to open up the windows and let the cats go. Previously indoor cats that have never been outside.

Complaints are POURING in. It's in a "nice" part of town. Neighbors aren't used to strays, aren't having it, threatened my job already if I don't "do something," etc.

I must have prayed the words "deliver us from evil" thousands and thousands of times in my life - for what?


The feral colony on Providence.

6/5/16 Sun (after midnight Sat).

Sorry this photo came out so bad I had to adjust and filter the shit out of it. BF's California friend Steve from back in the day, and some more friends he brought. Lots of rounds of Guinness and shots. Hoo boy do I need shots this week. You'll see.

6/4/16 Sat

Julie's bridal shower at the Susquehanna Valley Country Club. We used to swim in the pool there every summer cuz my aunt and uncle were members. Beautiful day, amazing food, great company. BF and I got her kitchen utensils.

6/3/16 Fri.
First Friday June. Finally something nice.

BF's cousin put up a skate park in the bank parking lot, and we stood and watched the skaters for a long time, running into everyone we knew, hanging out. BF's friends were coming home from far away - we meet them later.

6/2 Thurs

What? The avalanche of sadness is still avalanching. You thought, look, cute kittens! Don't. Most likely they're dead kittens by now. The mom was feral; they hiss and scratch at people. So, so scared. Good reason to be. People are monstrous, dumping cats, clogging the available rescues and shelters, assuming there's infinite good homes and prioritizing "making someone else deal with it" over whether their pet lives or dies.

Edit: Couldn't leave them there, knowing. A shelter worker fostered them. Whew. These kittens were saved by the skin of their teeth.
Tomorrow's kittens tho. :*( Just pray there aren't any.

6/1 Wednesday
Today checks most of the boxes for a very awful day.

Dead dogs? Check.
No sleep the night before? Check.
Reason for no sleep includes driving home from heartbreaking viewing for 30-yr old friend from college who most unexpectedly died, like several other too-young friends lately? Check.
85 degrees (F), sun-scalding, and 50+% humidity? Check.
Day consists of working mostly outdoors, in a position in which it is prohibited to be mean to and/or cause bodily damages to the animal abusers causing you grief, in dark colored double layers? Check.
While criminals get to sit home all day breeding more criminals and getting paid for it? Check.
Evidence that dogfighting might be happening HERE, for me to deal with, as a result of fucking asshole New Yorkers who got kicked out of NY? Check.
Stupid people? Check.
Really stupid people? Check.
Finally done for the day only to be told about a problematic situation of possible harm to animals? Check.
Investigation shows a literal bag of dead animals? Check.
Gangs (edited to prevent being googled by specific gang cuz I'm not safe from them anywhere) are involved in any of the above? Looking like it.

Work is ridiculous after 9 days out of service for training + Memorial Day. The world doesn't stop for me to get it together. There were at least 7 dog bites while I was gone. Here's the Keys, where I drank 5 Shaving Cream Ales and wondered why so many of my friends are dead.

You won't see shit like this on Facebook, but I can't be the only one.

5/31 Tuesday.

Longest sunset I ever saw. Lasted the whole drive to Ringtown. I went to a viewing there after a horribly busy day at work where I at least gained the clarity to move my ass and make a game plan for all these disasters. As I was driving home through Hazelton, Comm Center called about a dog fight in which a small dog got killed by a pack of larger dogs, which I know is going to be a huge mess that will take me all summer to sort out and make a lot of people mad at me (assuming someone owns the pack of dogs...probably someone I've warned about this).

A moment for Matt. My Angelette, my Zion Grove people always had my back when no one else did, I had to pay respects. My heart is broken for them. I have no idea what happened or how they must feel. It is too painful to want to know. I wrote so much in those days, I described them, admired them, immortalized them in their hippy palace they were kind enough to let me crash in. It's just that things changed somewhere between summer of 2006 and last week. I wasn't looking.

Fuck, I feel bad stream of consciousness writing coming on. So, so bad. I think this is why most people like me are on medication. Since I'm not...


By the rivers of Catawissa
Where trees were green
And the sun came out again
After years of rain
Where the dogs frolicked Emma, Bella, Blackie
Where one of Dali's eyes watched me sleep
Where there was a lizard king named Sonny
Where Clint beat someone up for pushing him in the pool
while his phone and his weed were in his pocket
on a midsummer night
as the party guests watched the fireworks
Where I read Faulkner on the sex couch
next to M playing his video game
with a summer storm that drove me inside from the hammock
percussion on the roof
green mountains out the archways
Where maybe the first friends I ever had
(who didn't secretly loathe me)
watched 90's movies about stoners
and Aqua Teen Hunger Force
and played horseshoes with Scott
while I tried to forget the mountaintown boy
in SIO who made six strings sing
when I thought that counted for something
because I hadn't met any men yet
where I was 22 and 22 was forever.

Now I am 32 and dreams are dead
college was for nothing
No one's there
families are shredded like the lhasa apso
in the shady neighbor's pit bull's jaws
the lizard king is dead
and in good company
with the stars and cigarettes
and remembered Zion.

current mood: in mourning

(no bother, please do)

Monday, May 30th, 2016
11:53 pm - Late Spring and 9 days away from work
5/30/16 Mon.
Memorial Day!

Lake Hideaway at dusk. All the nostalgia. I was a child here.

5/29/16 Sun. Nora's BDay. Happy Birthday to this beauty!
no title

Picture it. Scranton, 1891. A crew of workmen building my house on a pleasant spring Friday afternoon. My house is nearly complete. They put together a mock-up of bricks in a column to hold up what would one day be my back porch.

Then they never come back to cement them together. The porch is sitting on a loose stack of bricks, an no one notices or cares.

About 75 years later, the bricks fall over.

The back porch is hanging in the breeze. Cantilevered. Floating.

50 years after THAT, someone realizes it. BF. He gathers the original bricks into their original column. Wish us luck. We're going to pour a foundation and lay some 125-year-old bricks so they finally hold this shit up. Yet another case of someone's shit work making more work for BF.

5/28/18 Sat. Mom & Dad's 33rd Anniversary. They're so cute.

As for today...

BF's uncle in Clarks Summit lives in this lovely all-American place. I talked to his aunt while BF helped him fix a car. Nice day!

5/27/16 Fri.

Party at Spy Freeze's place <3 This is the bathroom wall.

5/26/16 Thu.

GORGEOUS running trail I found, with covered bridges and wildflowers. It's amazing what you can have in a town that's all college kids who need service hours improving recreational nature trails. Too bad we have no college students in Scranton.../sarcasm.

5/25/16 Wed.

Love my hair when I get to swim in the hotel pool every day <3

This was also the day we went to a beef farm and had to herd 4 angus bulls into a chute to be weighed. They weighed between 1200 and 1400 lbs. I never did intend to become an actual cowgirl, but God's plan was for me to be one for approximately 2 hours once. While I'll never eat beef, it's pleasant to learn the the steer get to eat all they like as long as they live, and each one has an identity with the Dept of Ag. There's such a fine line between "normal agricultural operations" and animal cruelty, but its important, and somehow restorative of my faith, to be knowledgeable of the difference. One cannot, for instance, starve or neglect horses which one "planned to send to the glue factory anyway." There's some quality of life enforced even for the doomed.

The best was a small freezer in the room where the cattle chute was. A magnet on it advertised the following:

"Zimmerman's Semen Services
No Bull Too Big Or Too Wild
Freezing Semen Since 1983"

You can't make this shit up. Soon as you're born you get a front row seat to this shit show.

5/24/16 Tue.
Cute baby milk cow, born yesterday. Toured a dairy farm today and learned what proper dairy farming looks like. Got to stick my hand in a cow's rumen. Ya don't see that every day. So many fascinating things to learn - so far none of which make me feel guilty for consuming dairy.

5/23/16 Mon.

Baby horses o'clock in State College <3

5/22/16 Sun.

Homemade pizzas!

5/21/16 Sat.

The wallpaper under my wallpaper is way tackier. BF spray-foaming the cracks in my bathroom ceiling, part of a house-wide effort to seal and insulate everything. Don't know what I'd do without him. Pee in the cold, probably.

5/20/16 Fri.

Rochelle's birthday was today and all the St Cats volunteers took her to Kildare's and surprised her with this cake! She was so shocked she cried tears of joy. The cat on the cake is Rudy, poor Rudy with his ripped ears and beat up nose and heart of gold. She loves that boy to pieces. He's available for adoption. He used to wander the alley near me, stopped in on my back porch once or twice. He's a good cat.

current mood: hopeful

(no bother, please do)

Thursday, May 19th, 2016
10:23 am - don't let the f*ckers get ya down
5/19/16 Thu.

5/18/16 Wed. Mom's Birthday!

5/17/16 Tue.

5/16/16 Mon.

No filter.

5/15/16 Sun.

5/14/16. Sat. BF and his mom after we went to AV for Mother's Day <3

5/13/16. Fri. This is an American Bully! Not a pit bull. Like a mini pit bull but different general temperament, very much more chill.

Adopters wanted. Her owners were deported this morning. Drugs again. They won't be coming to get her. Due process is something the Constitution only guarantees to Americans.

5/12/16 Thu. Huge drug bust just before I picked up this girl. Those pictures are in evidence and I probably can't ever share them except with a judge, but what scumbags! Poor little dogs, all matted and mistreated. Another cruelty citation. Just can't win this week. This is my job on warm weather. I better get used to things being this shitty.

This sweetie was reported as a "vicious pit bull running loose." She was a little scared but nowhere near vicious. Found her owners :) (NOT the aforementioned drug related - their dogs were small, longhaired, and unrecognizable under their matted coats).

5/11/16 Wed. Night Drop. Old dog. I hope they're looking for him, not intending to lose him. It's always hard to say. He'll be cared for here, either way.

5/10/16 Tue. It's my bloody hand, and we're at Memorial Vet Old Forge. If I showed you what once was a dog ahead of me instead of the floor in front of it, you'd be very disturbed indeed. I did the best I could. I got him here very fast. The vets were wonderful. They said his lung was collapsed and his whole thoracic cavity was all flooded with blood. He didn't last long enough for them to put him down.

The worst part is that his owners are the reason. Sure, they didn't mean for three of their pit bulls to attack and kill their fourth pit bull. IDGAF.

Owner is under 18 and constantly in trouble at school. Bet he thinks he's a badass motherfucker with his fighting pit bulls. I hope they eat him. Slowly.

A dog is dead and I'm suffering...and I don't think these people are the slightest bit affected. They'll breed more pit bulls cuz why not. Also, they never called to claim the body or pay for the cremation, and because it's his own dog and "an accident," no charges can be filed. Criminal wins again.

5/9/2016 Mon.

Griffin Pond ferals crowding around Meg's car at the end of the day. They know who feeds them!

5/8/2016 Sun. Mom's Surprise Party!

Temporary pic, my camera died and my sister's supposed to send me her good ones. One with Mom actually in it would be great.

(no bother, please do)

Tuesday, May 10th, 2016
2:36 am - Adventures in Harrisburg, and stuff
5/7 Sat. Maria's Birthday, Maria's Party, and the Kentucky Derby all in the same day!

I love this. A discussion about "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" took place on this occasion. According to Kyle, if you watch it as a grown-up you find it's chock full of celebrities and cinematic references. Who knew?

5/6 Fri. Home again home again. Here's my parents' new living room. Go look up my picture from 2/22 if you want to see what this exact room from the same angle looked like just over 3 months ago when the Irish Navy guys were scraping the wood floor so the floor guys could come do the finish. Here we are. I love it! The rugs used to be in Nan's fancy house. Mom there has no idea that everyone came in not for Mother's Day, but for her surprise party at Pop's house. Or at least, we hope she has no idea. She's very tough to pull anything over on. She'll be 60 on the 18th.

I love when my siblings visit :*)

5/5 Thu. Big test today.

Last day of humane officer training.

5/4 Wed. The kiddos at the Chinese buffet koi fountain.

When we sat down to eat, little Muffy said, "This place is so beautiful!" She takes after her grandma. Aunt Moof loved a good Chinese buffet like no other.

5/3 Tue. Now that I'm in Harrisburg, Kat's like 10 minutes away. Today we got out of class at a decent time so I came over for dinner.

Here's the clan. Max, Muffy, and Nathan <3

5/2 Mon. 4am road trip ready.

Coffee, directions, presents for the ninos, and beautiful dogwood flowers from BF. For the next 4 days I'm away at humane officer training part 1.

5/1 Sun.

Saying goodbye to my foster babies.

current mood: happy

(no bother, please do)

Sunday, May 1st, 2016
12:01 am - God Knows I Try
4/30 Sat.

BF cooks for me. LOOK AT THIS. SO GOOD. The man is a genius and a chef.

4/29 Fri. CATLOAF!!!!

Lily is my catloaf and she is yummy.

4/28 Thu. The most depressing fucking thing ever.

Children's drawings in a filthy condemned shit-filled house where a dog was abandoned. [Photo scrutinized and edited for common decency privacy protection, though I don't even know the people, and was since posted here]. ALL bad people have multitudes of children. Every drug bust. Every shit house. Baby stuff with crack pipes next to it. Kids' backpacks with that day's homework they won't have in school tomorrow. Kids can be farmed for the social security nowadays - it's not only tolerated but encouraged. Sorry teachers. Your lessons don't stand a chance on these kids tomorrow. Sorry, parents of good kids. If bad people's kids are learning to be like their parents, your kids will get shamed and bullied for their good behavior. Nothing you can do can protect your kids from badly raised kids. Bad people invariably make more of a difference than good people. Good people have to clean up after them before they can even begin good people work. Bad people are free to forge ahead tearing apart the world unchecked. The game is rigged.

This is what all you internet yuppies who read online articles all day will never get about humanity. This is where I have to keep my mouth shut and my opinions off Facebook, where I am utterly alone in my experience except among the cops and inspectors and CYS workers, who you may notice distance themselves from social media for reasons such as these. We are alienated from all those political rants and cat memes by the turpitude of the day, the real badness of humans nobody else has to get close to. Happens every day. I wish this is the only time I have seen something like this. It's probably two dozen or more pieces ripped out of my heart, one from every time I've seen this sort of thing, tho. I die a little more inside every time. I may never meet these kids. I'll never forget to pray for them, fuck if prayers will stand a chance but it's all their ever gonna get in this life. Besides the $500 worth of Toys for Tots donations that their parents will break and throw around as eyesores when they're high on crystal meth and beating the kids within an inch of their lives.

But go ahead. Keep posting about how everything happens for a reason. At the end of the day it is what it is.

4/27 Wed. Call for an animal left behind by an owner running from the law. This must be the place.

Didn't get in there today, though. Gotta wait for the inspectors to condemn it. Forth Amendment stuff.

4/26 Tue. Election Day, 2016 Primaries. After voting at Whittier.

This is a gathering storm over West Mountain as seen from my parish church. We had a day off today.

4/25 Mon.

Brought over the leather couch from my parents' side. Winnie has been intimately rolling around on it since it came over. Here she is hugging the coffee table.

4/24 Sun. Lookin out my back door.

Tree's about to burst into bloom.

4/23 Sat. Walking home.

Probably listening to "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan. This is the only Disney song in my entire iTunes library.

4/22 Fri. I have some weekend guests.

Meep, Nan, and Pangar Bahn are from building 15 of Valley View Terrace. The nice lady there found them in one of the grates. Those grates are basically mamma cat traps. If i kept every cat I ever picked up found in the grates at VVT, I'd have more cats than Griffin Pond. Aren't they the CUTEST!

4/21 Thu. This shit again.

Ringing the doorbell usually gets them back inside. The owners didn't have a doorbell and knocking didn't work. Almost had to call the Fire Dept til a neighbor who knew the dog simply told her to go back inside.

4/20 Wed. The Underground, Philadelphia, PA. Weeknight roadtrip with Carlie from work to see Peter Murphy from Bauhaus. The pictures of him came out crappy and backlit, so here's something else that blew my mind:

So. Much. Awesome. Beer. Guitar. Ben Franklin. You'd never believe it but the beer was really good, too.

"My life is full of best nights ever," Ann Walsh once said, when she was in her 80's and I ran into her and her husband dressed to the nines at a happy hour. Me too. Turns out Carlie knew the bass player and the road crew. Everyone in the audience was all dressed up including us. I saw a couple which looked and dressed exactly like me and BF, who couldn't come because he had work. (He is the reason I like good music like this). We went out with people we didn't know to this Mexican restaurant and heard some great stories. We met an amazing girl named Kiki who wore red roses in her hair and a see-thru corset with a fishnet bustle train and thigh-high boots. I thought she was younger than me, but she said she was 50. I don't know how that's possible but I hope I look that good someday. It's like just another weeknight in 2006. Why don't I do things like this anymore?

The Angry Beavers (old cartoon on Nickelodeon) had two episodes whose titles sum up my reasons. The first was called UP ALL NIGHT. The sequel was called UP ALL NIGHT II. UP ALL DAY: THE RECKONING.

But every once in a while, it's so worth it.

4/19 Tue.

Scenes from alleys.

4/18 Mon. Found a cute puppy!

4/17 Sun.

Got a new skirt I love so much. I wish I could have everything in my house like this. Curtains. Upholstery. Bedding. <3

4/16. Sat.

BF putting up shelves in the pantry. Coming along. He thinks all the picture taking is silly. But he does all this hard work all the time and nobody ever cares. They think the lights just happen. The heat just happens. The furnace just maintains itself. The projects just get done. No. No.


"He says you are too much
You talk, laugh, smile, feel too much.
But baby,
Here is the real problem.
He is too little
to appreciate
that it took an entire galaxy
being woven into one soul
to make you."
-Nikita Gill, "Too Much"

current mood: busy

(no bother, please do)

Friday, April 15th, 2016
11:53 pm - April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers
4/15 Fri.

Beautiful unseasonably warm Friday as I'm about to be done for the day. This is Courthouse Square. Too bad about all the trees. They were just about to peak in their flowery glory when we had a run of nights it went down to the teens and single digits. Now the trees are brown everywhere. Glad I took pictures while I could.

4/14 Thu. Pop's house.

Visiting with my 94-yr-old grandfather, who makes sure I did my taxes right. He tells the best stories. Still lives alone. Still better at math than I could ever hope to be. I'm so lucky. He always finds me a couple bucks I woulda missed. I love Pop!

4/13 Wed.

That time BF sent me a text message, and I texted him back. <3<3<3

4/12 Tue.

Looks like I found me a bang bus. Sights around the town.

4/11 Mon.

Almost went under this porch before I realized it was about to cave in on my head. Why? Setting traps for TNR.

4/10 Sun.
This is the sink side of my pantry. "Before."

We will be working on it a great deal and hope to make it nicer. I'll be very lucky if I can post an "after" by the end of the year.

4/9 Sat
Working all day on the house followed by shopping...

I have 3 friends on the internets who sell Lularoe. Normally I'm repelled by MLM schemes and don't even want to see what anyone's selling. But I've observed some important differences with Lularoe, namely:
1) It came at a time when I had made it a New Year's Resolution to stop my contribution to companies who use third-world child slavery (hint: all of them) to make clothes, now that I can afford stuff that's made in countries that have labor regulations, preferably USA.
2)It came at a time when I really don't think I've bought much clothes for myself in 9 years.
3)It came at a time when part of the reason I have stopped buying clothes is that it's not easy to find things I like which don't scream TRYING TOO HARD TO LOOK YOUNG AND HIP WITH WHAT THE KIDS ARE DOING THESE DAYS. This is a failure of the 2016 fashion industry. It's like they're saying, "You can look like you're trying to be 20 at Bonnaroo or you can look like you stopped caring how you look, up to you. You're too old to be a target market."

I was opting to spend 90% of my time out in public in my dogcatcher uniform and spend the other 10% of my time in public at events where it isn't inappropriate to wear might-as-well-be-a-dogcatcher-uniform schlubwear, vintage dresses, costumes, or corsets. There was no middle ground, no normal that I was comfortable in.
I find that this new clothing fills the void of "normal" clothes, while tending to have styles similar to the fun stuff I like. I have a pair of hot pink leggings with old sewing machine graphics on them! They go great with my old blue timbs and the blue/gray shirt my sister got me for Christmas. I love the dresses and skirts. I feel flattered by these styles but not exposed, and also very comfortable. So, guess I'm just gonna have to live with it. Gonna be a sucker this one time. Am I really a sucker if I'm getting something out of it?

4/8 Fri.

A Friday squirrel in a cat trap. Go free, friend!

4/7 Thu. Goth Night.

The Bog. Photo by Melissa.

4/6 Wed.

More Scranton Lace love. There's an article called "The Autopsy of the American Dream" about Scranton Lace Co. I've never been inside. I hope someday I have to chase some animal into there so I can see it.

4/5 Tue.
Bogart Court.

The color of the sky on my walk home was insane.

4/4 Mon
Happy Birthday Colonel Blackliver of the Irish Navy!

Here's a scene from my day: trapping cats at old Scranton Lace.

One of my favorite things about my job is legal access to dilapidated buildings. Or as I prefer to think of them, haunted buildings.

4/3 Sun
Flying Winnie <3

4/2 Sat. Had some business at the Nay Aug Zoo today assisting with an adoption of a feral cat. I don't mean a cat that was found outside bt turned out to be adoptable; I mean one with a sign on her cage that said "Watch out." No, that isn't normal. Feral cats usually get "placed" (someone has a farm to keep them on as pest control, etc.) because there are dangers to adopting them out (putting them into a house to live with with a person). The prospective owner, however, was experienced with this sort of thing. Knew their shit. Checked out. Wanted to come get the cat in 2 hours.

So I called BF to see if we could kill the 2 hours in the bird room at the Everhart Museum. He came up on his bike.

Haven't been here since I was a kid, usually with my aunt Moof :*( I can't believe this is right here and I don't visit regularly. I love this place. And we just looked at the one exhibit.

4/1 First Friday Art Shows. Unfortunately, walking home through these events is the most I get to see them these days...but this time, the premiere first Friday show was in the sky. It was so pretty I have to use more than one picture.

Note: Cameras don't process the lights of sunset the same way eyes do, so these came out looking like nothing special. All adjustments I made to them (color saturation) were to make them match the way they looked through my eyes. What the photos captured still falls short. I'm so lucky.


"With promises of paradise
and gifts of beads and knives
missionaries and pioneers
are soldiers in disguise
saviors and conquerers
they make us wait
the fishers of men they wave their truth like bait
with the touch of a stranger's hand
innocence turns to shame
the spirit that dwelt within
now sleeps out in the rain

For all of our languages
we can't communicate
For all of our native tongues
we're all natives here.
The scars of the past are slow to disappear
the cries of the dead are always in our ears
only the very safe
can talk about wrong and right
of those who were forced to choose
there's some who will choose to fight."
-Christy Moore "Natives"

current mood: okay

(no bother, please do)

Sunday, April 10th, 2016
10:13 am - we salute you, Soldiers of the Awesome
03/31/16 Th. Drag Panked!

Here's me dressed as BF and Melissa with a beard. (Pardon my lack of even baseline makeup! Ack.) Everyone knew who I was. There are pictures of BF dressing like me but to put it on the internet would be blackmail ;) So much fun!!!

03/30/16 W. Springtime!
This is Nay Aug Zoo on Spay Day, when the van comes to spay and neuter all the cats and dogs.

I love the yellow forsythia!

03/29/16 Tu. This shit again.

This could very well be the most disgusting backyard in the city. I hate to notice uncharitable patterns with human behavior, but for all the boo-hooing about the cost of necessary vet care, Section 8 people sure have no problem affording 2700 big stupid plastic kid toys to break and encrust with filth! You could literally build another house out of all the stupid pink and purple crap that's in this yard. The dog is not secure, growls and runs when approached. Cries and paws at this door cuz he wants to go in. I mean look at him. That poor dog is so sad and so scared. Owners are inside, occasionally peeking out the window, not answering the door.

By the way, that THING in the lower lefthand corner is a TURKEY CARCASS set near the water bowl like that's what they expect him to eat. Did you know even well-cooked, fresh turkey gives dogs 3 weeks of projectile diarrhea? Yeah, it does. Oh, so that's why he's not being let in. Turkey bones tend to shred the esophagus and GI tract to the point that people have been charged with cruelty for throwing bones over their neighbor's fence resulting in their neighbor's dog getting killed or needing $10,000 of medical care. There's just SO. MUCH. WRONG. BAD. HORRIBLE. EVERYTHING.

What do you do? That's what they pay me for. Some days it's more like I pay them...in what remains of my respect for human life. WHY CAN'T YOU LET YOUR DOG IN? It's freaking cold out and he's gonna bite someone's baby!

03/28/16 M. Rudy!!

Isn't he majestic? This is one old-ass feral tomcat lucky to be alive. What's more - he's familiar. One morning when it was 5 degrees, he was lying on my back porch. Sickest, biggest, tomcattiest-looking tomcat you ever saw. This thing I mean - looked like he got ripped apart by a pack of dingoes just before someone kicked him here from Australia. I got him a bowl of food. He ate, and let me pet him. So I went to get a crate to see if I could bring him into work with me, get him in a rescue, but he was gone when I got back. SO glad someone got him! "He needs a break," Rochelle put it. He's been here a few days and he is loving his break. One of his poor ears is frostbitten down to a nub from the last 2 really bad winters. Here at the zoo, he's loving the warmth and food. <3

03/27/16 Su. It is Easter Sunday but I left my camera at home by accident when I went to Pop's :( So this is all I got for today, besides the amazing Easter basket full of Cadbury eggs!!!
Got a new skirt. This is my boyfriend's silk pajama blouse from the 80's. Please someone dare me to go out like this.

I don't often wish I was in NY, but there would totally be somewhere to rock this there, even on Easter Sunday.

03/26/16 Sat. Nickparty II of course...Holy Saturday Edition.

Baby Erection at Irish Wolf. Too bad I missed the opportunity to get a shot of him in his wedding dress. I will admit the tightie-whities make me kind of nostalgic for that week we met and went to Bonnaroo '12. BF got to come this time <3 He's one picky snooty elitist mfer and he loves their stuff. A great variation on Food Slut transpired, in which Easter candy was discussed.

03/25/16 Fri. NICKPARTY '16! Good Friday Edition.

I love Nickparty. Had to miss it last year because Ginger Buster was dying in my arms :*( (Poor guy. One year today. I miss him all the time. You can only imagine all the beers consumed in tribute). The people you meet at Nickparty always feel like you've known them for years. BF had to work but he would have liked it. At one point I watched Ramones concert footage for an hour and a half while two guys played along air-guitar nonstop the ENTIRE time. UNTIL...someone in the other room put on Britney. Not just any Britney, either - Circus...which might just be her best. There was much discussion on this subject. She was the singer at the first concert I ever went to!

03/24/16 Thurs. Willow tree overlooking Jackson Terrace, where someone is leaving a dog in a cat crate 8-12 hours a day without access to food or water. (Found this out long after this was taken; I was there to investigate. All is well now. It can be rewarding to have something to do with that).

Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold
Her every leaf's a flower
But only so an hour
Then leaf subsides to leaf
So Eden sank to greif
As dawn goes before the day
Nothing gold can stay.

There she is - nature's first green. It does actually look kinda gold.

03/23/16 Wed. St. Cats fundraiser at POSH with these lovely ladies!

The girls seen here bring to mind that quote about how a small, dedicated group of people can change the world - indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. I've seen it attributed to everyone from Eleanor Roosevelt to David Bowie because the internet. But that's what these people have done. They changed the world. They turned my job from a killing errand to a rescue errand, and have rid the streets of countless incidents of suffering and nuisance. I can sleep at night. I see them all the time - more than I see most of my cousins and friends. They have my cooperation and my gratitude. They're St. Cats volunteers and founder, plus they're fosters and rescuers and sponsors. They brought the humane option of trap-neuter-return and low-cost spay/neuter to NEPA. They're also great people who make every minute of it enjoyable!

03/22/16 Tue. Happy Birthday Molly!

<3 you Trouble. Here she is as the tomboy from the Norman Rockwell painting entitled "The Shiner," a painting which tells the story of her life. That and her Rosie the Riveter costume. And her giant Mother Goose costume. And last year when she dressed up exactly like my mom down to the Coors Light can.

Uh oh. Drug raid. (Completely unrelated to my sister there). Someone got arrested and I had to take their pets. So I made up these notices to guide the owner or owner's next-of-kin so pets and owners can be reunited if the person's getting out. Also to say why the animals were taken, which I'd like to know if I were in that situation. (Words deliberately obscured by digital manipulation in compliance with common decency privacy considerations, and always were since this was posted).

03/21/16 Mon. This is the cat that bit me. Released from Qtine about a week ago, she's been spayed, had her shots and gets to return to where she was running wild before.

Most trauma-free way to crate a feral cat:
1)get a crate that's smaller than the doorway of the cage she's in.
2)carefully remove everything from the cage - litter box, bedding, food & water bowls.
3)open the crate and put the whole thing inside the bigger cage while keeping the crate door from accidentally getting pushed closed.
4)shut the door to the bigger cage with the open crate inside (and ideally taking up most of the space in the cage).

Little bitey girl went right in.

03/20/16 Sun.

Sundays are for cooking, watching Dr. Who, & occasionally taking a selfie with Kittles.

03/19/16 Sat. This was taken inside the cabinets under my kitchen sink.

BF found me a dishwasher that was headed for the dumpster. He did some measuring. It'll fit precisely into my pantry.

I sat with him fetching tools and holding stuff for him while he connected the dishwasher hose to the hot water faucet pipes. It's amazing how he can just cut a hole in one of the 115-yr-old copper pipes in my house, and do some shit with white tape and connecting valves, and voila, I have a dishwasher that works without any leaks.

03/18/16 Fri. Tribute show for Walter Prez.

He had such a rich treasury of original music. Bands were covering his songs, and there were big displays of pictures from his rock 'n' roll life. I was in a few of them.

BF and I were introduced to his brother and some other of his family members who were there. They brought his iconic top hat with the red flower, which I woulda thought would be buried with him. They looked around in awe, so surprised at the turnout and the awesomeness. People crowded in, as they used to when he was playing - most of them all done up in their black and boots - I wore a corset as outerwear because you can do that there <3. We all knew his songs. Some people even had imitation iconic hats. The success and command Walter had had over the downtown scene was startling to newcomers. "I had no idea," his brother said.

I'll always wonder now about family members I didn't know in a social capacity, outside the Thanksgiving dinners, who might keep to themselves about their hobbies. They might be superstars in some kind of universe. When my aunt died (Walter used to play his song "Mary Ann" when I told him about her), everyone who's anyone in Soo Bahk Do karate came in, some from South Korea, to attend the funeral. Even my alive-and-well cousin Ben - if I hadn't followed Tigers Jaw since they were 14-year-old kids, if I had no interest in local music, if it just wasn't my thing - I'd have no idea. He's so quiet about it. He only talks about the band/opening for Coheed and Cambria & NFG/the tours to South America and Australia etc. when you ask him. In fact, he's always more interested in asking about you than talking about himself. But he has fans around the world. My grampa thinks it's great.

03/17/16 Thu. St. Patrick's Day at Kildare's after work, featuring the Irish Balladeers.

They played "When the Breakers Go Back on Full Time!" And Donnybrook - a band comprised mostly of sons and nephews of Balladeersmen - followed.

Poor Heather! Kildare's only had one bartender on. Speaking of Heathers - Happiest of Birthdays to my most dear friend Heather! Here she is a few years ago as Little Bo Peep with her baby lammie! <3

03/16/16 Wed.

800 Monroe is my favorite abandoned house lately. So beautiful!
It was called in as "cat trapped inside old coal-miner's mansion."
1)Cat wasn't trapped, I found the place was riddled with little openings just right for cats to travel in and out.
2)Coal miners lived in company housing - shacks, basically. My own house was one! But I know what you meant. Coal mine owners' mansions.

03/15/16 Tue. Ides of March. Here's my "beware" moment. I hate it when they get out.

These dogs were called in as "vicious;" were actually cuddlebugs. Happens a lot.

03/14/16 Mon. Called here about "abused pit bulls." I arrive. Here they are.

There's a checklist. It Might Be Abuse If. It's in my head. It got there by all the times I had to read PA Crimes Code 18 5511C, Cruelty to Animals.

Dogs look thin? Negative.
Dogs look injured, ill, lacerated, (signs of fighting?) rabid, mangy, or otherwise like they should have been to the vet lately for some treatment? Negative. Female has tits to the ground. Good thing someone's backyard-breeding pit bulls! /sarcasm
Dogs look aggressive? Not the female. The male...questionable. They're usually territorial when you're standing outside their gate but...
No access to food? Check. (Least likely to indicate abuse. Some dogs wolf all their food and it has to be measured out twice a day. That one gets asked with a grain of kibbles n' bits.)
SHELTER. Nope, no access. Back porch doesn't count; has to hold body heat and keep animal dry. Won't work in sideways rain or subfreezing temps; therefore not good enough.

The big question. Education or citation?
The big answer: What is better for the animals?

Let's see. Dogs are not in mortal danger; this is just a sloppy owner.
If confronted, he could still say he didn't know something.
It's not too bad outside today. No way to say for sure if he leaves them out like this in extreme cold or heat.
Past complaints/reports/investigations/charges? Gotta get the owner's name first. What does the mailbox say? There's a name. Have I seen it before? No. Probably that's to their favor.

Edit: Long story and ongoing. Owner was very cooperative in following orders for corrections, and while I'll keep an eye on everything for times to come, there's minimal evidence that the dogs would be better off under the care of the shelter than with their current owner. Cross your fingers for them tho.

Most reported "cruelties" have a similar outcome when investigated.

Owner didn't know.

Owner will try harder.

Dogs aren't suffering horribly or going to suffer long term.


Exeter woman has cats and pills
Exeter woman has a million thrills
Exeter woman into the night
Exeterwoman by starlight

"Exeter Woman" by Walter Prez

current mood: okay

(no bother, please do)

Friday, March 18th, 2016
5:07 pm - Shippin' up to Scranton
3/13/16 Sun. Sunday morning recovery with mimosas & trash tv. Some sitcom about cooks. (Too Many Cooks?) With Bridey, Murph, & Boyfriend.

3/12/16 Sat. PARADE DAY 2016 in pictures!
End to beginning: Here's the Black Diamond pipers at the Dugout when I was there with Leila & Co. for Round 2. They played Raglan Road - never heard them do that one before!

Scenes from the parade:

There's ringmaster Ted rallying the circus midgets...

Beads flying through the air, and Jen waving from the Mohegan Sun float :D

PARTY PARTY PARTY...Kyle, Dana, Maria & Gumby watching with us at Forest Ct. & Spruce.
When Adam was asked to wear green, he protested that the only green he had was a Gumby costume.

My boyfriend has long protested the wearing o the green. This year he wore green underpants and an all-black suit. Everyone asked him, "Where's your green?" and he dropped his trousers every time...

These are D Phi E sisters who came down from Bloomsburg! (They weren't 21 last year). So great to see they still got such wonderful girls!

Flip cup table bright and early...hmm I see Tom's roommates, Bridey, Jonathan, Nancy, & my cousin Mikey. And so many people in one place, not one looking at their phone!

3/11/16 Fri. Bridey and Annie making the jell-o shots at my parent's side. The calm before the storm.

3/10/16 Thu. Beyonce sings to me while I clean up for the coming weekend's festivities.

"Baby boy you stay on my mind, fulfill my fantasy...."

3/9/16 Wed. Walking home from work, passing Kildare's and the Radisson. This is the first time all year that I'm walking home in daylight. Kind of. Close enough. Anyway, it's pretty out <3

current mood: happy

(no bother, please do)

Tuesday, March 8th, 2016
8:08 pm - 4 Days Til Parade Day
3/8. Meet Fritz! IF THIS DOG COULD TALK. He's a great boy, 5 years old, and has a hairless rump which does not really improve with veterinary attention. I've known Fritz since 2014.

Fritz is up for adoption to the right person/family (I can't imagine he'd be anything but wonderful with kids and other animals, although we always advocate meet and greets as part of the adoption process to find out for sure). He's fun like a dog but chill in a way, too, unlike a lot of dogs. Sometimes dogs have no chill, but Fritz has lots of chill.

You can see Fritz in the St. Patrick's Day Parade this year. I think I'll call up a man who used to own him, and who treated him well. It'd do them both some good.

Fritz and the people who loved him taught me to raise my expectations of responsible pet ownership for the rest of you fuckers. If a guy who is in and out of homeless shelters can have a loved, fed, cared-for, vet-supervised, well-trained, licensed, shots up-to-date, large-breed dog...for which he found an equally good situation when he had to live where dogs were prohibited...then there are no excuses for anyone else. None. Dogs are family.

This whole rabies shots thing + heavy antibiotic is making me feel so shitty. Nothing helps.

3/7 Mon. Woke up this morning to this precious face giving me the old "meow meow breakfast meow meow?" Also laughed myself awake because of my dream. In my dream I was at the Banshee and an old lady asked for help with a crossword puzzle. "What is the name of the man who was arrested in Scranton last week for hitting a bus driver on the head with a hoagie?" she asked. We looked it up on my phone and found that the answer was Schlock Buzzcockington.

I'd like to learn more about Schlock Buzzcockington.


"Fascism is aided and advanced by the apathy of those who are tired of being conned and lied to by a bankrupt liberal establishment, whose only reason to vote for a politician or support a political party is to elect the least worst." -Chris Hedges

(not that I should ever read anything political...very sincerely I know my intelligence fails me in political matters; when there's never an answer that favors actual people trying to do the right thing, it's a complicated equation of weighing ideologies and how close they come to what can't be wrong times their practical applicability divided by the alternatives - factoring in the long-game ramifications of each possibility...and I can't. Nope).

current mood: happy

(no bother, please do)

Sunday, March 6th, 2016
10:41 pm - Leap year adventures

Sexy man making me kale chips <3<3<3


BF's mom's birthday was today. We took her out to eat - I adore her. This is later. Pretty much in love with my sewing machine leggings. Who the hell can pull off hot pink sewing machine leggings? Me!


Wow my life sucks right now. Got bit my a sick-looking feral cat. Hope I don't have rabies. At least now I get to have my shots done. This is at the old zoo.


Sometimes my investigations take me to unusual places. Like the crest of one of the ridges along the Expressway. Bonus: saw a bunch of robins here and found a fern fossil we'll have to come back for sometime.


Mom left me a surprise <3


The most Scranton moment ever. Roadwork and trains. We're all about the roadwork & trains.


Monday morning - good haul. 2 cats, 1 possum, and a groundhog.


Got new leggings that go with my pope shirt :)


BF fixing my radiator; feels it's too early for pictures. Winnie in the bathtub!



Heading to the Dugout in my new dress to meet BF. Today sucked balls. Gotta get something good out of it.


Thunderstorm in February. Stranger held an umbrella over me while I put groceries in the Jeep - sometimes people can be really nice for a change. May he win lotteries and always get great parking spots all his days. Worried about my sister Bridey, who was at this time driving in from Conshy for Pat's funeral. He was a great guy, and I babysat his daughter from 1999 til she got old enough. She's still so young for a tragedy like this. So was he, for that matter. My heart's broken for that whole huge wonderful family. WTF 2016? Who will it be next week?


The mailbox of a fallen officer I knew, as he left it.
(A metaphor for why work so hard?)
When 722 was still with us, I could never find his mailbox. Always had the feeling I just saw it, where was it? Eh, I'll see him tomorrow.
Then I'd check my own mailbox, and there it was, right above mine. We were hired the same week, I think, or pretty close anyway.
They moved mine after he died, and made the rest of them alphabetical. They closed his off, like they did with his locker.
He would have been 30 tomorrow.

2/22 Mon.

My parent's living room... a "before" picture.

2/21 Sun.

My ballet class <3

Also, PJ's BDay!

2/20 Sat.

The day we moved my piano over to my side of the house. I love my piano. It was made in 1914.

current mood: content

(no bother, please do)

Sunday, February 14th, 2016
11:39 pm - Never Giving Up Now
2/14 Sun. Valentine's Day.

BF loves the Pixar short film "Lava." So I made him a silly card. Saving some pictures of him here in case my computer ever bites it. Most of them are backed up but you never know.

Aug 2012, before we were going out, he was cheering me up as I tried to hold it together in my aunt's last days.

Halloween 2009 at the Bog!

In his natural habitat.

Hates weddings and travel. Travels a weekend in Philly for my sister's wedding... <3<3<3

...the weekend of Pope Francis's visit.

We woke up like this.

Arts on the Square last summer. "I'll show you da fuckin' arts, I gotcher arts right here!"

He cooks for me <3

Inventing the selfie before I was born.

Winter solstice eclipse in Dec. 2010 before we were going out. I almost lost my feet to frostbite that night just to sit there longer with him watching the moon turn red. Molly was wasted and took this picture unannounced while calling us "lovebirds." It's my favorite.


current mood: loved

(no bother, please do)

Saturday, February 13th, 2016
11:23 pm - Into the Night
Forgive me if I'm shitfaced rightnow. But

This is my friend Walter Prez. I tried to give up Facebook for Lent...did well with that...then found out he was dead. This is one of his pictures with me.
:*( Unspeakably sad. This is an odd, sign-of-the-times type of mourning. Hundreds of people are posting on his Facebook. Somebody he worked with at Simplex posted pictures of the roofs he last built, captioning that he could barely stand to load them into the truck.

Friends not from Scranton: We are all Walter Prez's friend who worked with him and had to load up the roofs he built into a truck. We are all living better because of stuff he did. Long after he's buried, the roofs he built will keep the rain off of someone. You yuppies in LA who write comments on the internet - pray God you could ever be so useful. His life mattered. Most lives actually don't, barely do, or show potential for mattering but let's not hold our breath. Walter's was everything that mattered. He did stuff - not just online. He made excellent rock 'n' roll, he made art, he drew and photographed, and on top of it all he even sheltered perfect strangers. My dad sells for Simplex, and thanks to Walter, Dad's customers are safe and dry in comfortable homes. Thanks to Walter working his arse off and never even getting to retirement, people are safe, though he was not.

Among the things posted on his wall was a high school classmate's scan of his picture in their yearbook. According to this, high school senior Walter wanted to be a photographer for Penthouse. He shot pictures of me for his album cover in 2012, "Into the Night," and he really could've done well with that.

(This was was my profile pic for roughly a year).

"here is a fun thing i came up with,if you are a motorhead fan you will understand!
1-live to win
2-the chase is better than the catch
3-god was never on your side
4-dont need religion
5-dont let em grind ya down
6-love cant buy you money
7-bite the bullet
8-rock it
9-dont waste your time
10-shut your mouth"
-WP's Facebook status from Aug 2015

current mood: sad

(no bother, please do)

Friday, February 12th, 2016
7:20 pm - never gonna hold the hand of another guy
Fri 2/12. Feeding Aslan while Jen's in Florida <3 <3 I love Aslan. He's happy to see me, too.

Thu 2/11. Dakota doesn't seem vicious :*( Not now. It also doesn't seem to be 5 degrees when this was taken but I thought I was going to lose fingers today, whether from dogs or frostbite. Nothing good to say about this day.

Wed 2/10. Snow is here! A sergeant at HQ told me that they'd been training the previous day at the armory by the park, and a skunk had been sneaking around stinking. I told him I'd try to trap it. I set the trap this morning, and a few hours later, I did not catch a skunk. I caught a snow leopard. Two officers were there and we laughed about it. I released the snow leopard, as it appeared to be visiting from it's home where it was receiving proper care. :)

Tue 2/9. Beginning of a big storm, but the snowflakes didn't come out. This was taken while looking for a dog running loose. I find the most peculiar things in Scranton's alleys. Wait til spring, I'll be showing you these magical botanical paradises hidden away in the grimiest areas.

Mon 2/8. Cutie-puppy found shivering in the Tripp Park neighborhood. He's all safe and sound now. If nobody claims him he'll be in adoption at the shelter as "Eddie."

Sun 2/7. Me and Maria at Ted's Big Thing! The 10th anniversary of Drawing Social (which I will always call it)...and about the same since I've been going to it. There were circus people and musical performances. Also had my fortune told. Seems ok.

current mood: drunk

(no bother, please do)

Monday, February 8th, 2016
9:44 pm - reshaping my humble corner of the world
2/6 Sat. My man washed my dishes. As if it isn't enough he's smart, attractive, resourceful, always right, and the best at everything. Some girls have ALL the luck. <3 <3

2/5 Fri. Blu Wasabi with Jen to celebrate the end of a tough week<3

2/4 Thu. This is altogether depressing. Which is why I'm set on changing it.

What does it mean? Two things, the first one of which may make you want to slide into a warm bath and let all your blood out. This is a stack of receiving contracts from 2011, 2012, and 2015.

1). Every piece of paper represents one or more animal which Animal Control took to the animal shelter. The majority represented are stray or feral cats caught as nuisances or because they were found injured, or because someone well-meaning just couldn't stand to see them out in the cold. Most of these animals, especially stray and feral cats, were euthanized long ago.

2). My purpose in assembling them is to take them to an important meeting I'm having with my boss and another important man. They will be used as visual aids to hep me persuade them that the city's population of strays is better served by also using trap-neuter-release. I'm showing them 2011, 900-some animals taken to GPAS, compared with 2012: also 900-some animals taken to GPAS to prove that the 900-some we took in 2011 did nothing to curb the stray cat complaints a year later. Then I have 2015's - a mere 400, a much smaller folder. The mayor let us begin limited TNR (up to 20 cats a month) in spring of 2014, and in so short a time it has drastically reduced the number of animals we bring to the shelter. Which has resulted in more of the animals we bring to the shelter getting put into adoption and living out their lives!

It went better than I could have hoped. This is what I sold my soul to the devil for (transporting trapped strays to their demise, which never once was easy, but if I didn't do it people poisoned them :*( - it's finally going to pay off! Got my work cut out for me!

2/3 Wed. Caught a pit bull at Valley View Terrace. Sweet girl! They asked me to name her at the shelter so all I could think of was to give her my middle name. She's Maeve. <3 Beautiful girl. Like all good dogs, here she is riding shotgun. My selfie is superimposed over her on the glass. Ya know, big art n shit like dat.
NOT PICTURED: Tina the office administrator showing me a homemade knife she had taken off of a 9-year-old resident. White, in case you were assuming in a racist manner. We won't be having that on this Livejournal. "They're so terrible to each other," the office ladies lamented about the tenants. "They hurt each other, they beat each other, they threaten each other, we had one of them burn his girlfriend a couple days ago...and that's just the parents. What hope do the kids have?"
Poor, stupid teachers. They don't even have a clue, and their jobs depend on these kids going against everything they're living by.
They have a tough job, my friends in the office. "You have to have a lot of faith."

2/2 Tues. Groundhog says we're gonna have an early spring, which we were already sort of having. Also says F*ck you, Katie, you're going to get a flat tire today 30 minutes before your hearing. DPW to the rescue!! This is where all the city vehicles are repaired and maintained by a tireless few mechanics.


current mood: accomplished

(no bother, please do)

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016
9:15 pm - How's this?
Presenting to you the second draft of my File of Council.

This is to be submitted in hopes of changing the laws to include provisions to allow stray and feral cats the opportunity to live not as nuisances, to be trapped, removed, and euthanized, but as free animals in colonies where they will be allowed to live out their lives.

Some degree of selling my soul to the devil has been necessary. In the following ordinance, I have had to maintain the rights of Scranton's residents to have stray and feral cats removed if subjectively believed to be a nuisance. People shall not be forced to love and live with stray cats, which means the cats may die. History will hate me for that. But without it we're dead in the water, and another thousand stray and feral cats which we might otherwise save, including friendly ones and healthy ones, will die in 2016.

If you can't deal with animals dying, you can't help them live. We can't be hippies, believing in an imaginary idealized world. Fairytales don't help animals. Or anyone. We need to be punk rockers, wanting a better world but knowing there's work to do to change it, and raging at the chance to be the ones to do that work. (apologies to Joe Strummer for abducting his comparison. Full credit at end of entry).

Here goes. Draft #2. Holy shit. I wrote this. My English degree actually got used!





For the purposes of this ordinance, the following words shall designate meanings as interpreted below.

(a) COLONY - group of two or more stray and/or feral cats which inhabit an area suitable to meet their needs of food, water, and shelter

(b) COLONY MANAGEMENT - the voluntary actions of individual City residents to assist cats living in colonies, which for this ordinance will include (1)providing food, water, and shelter to a colony, (2)continuous trapping of colony cats for the purpose of spaying, neutering, and administering rabies vaccines or microchips, as well as trapping of any kittens for removal, domestication, and adoption if applicable (3)continuous observation of colony for signs of distress, disease, injury, pregnancy, severe parasite infestation, and other problems among individual colony cats, as well as the appearance of new cats, and willingness to trap such cats for purposes of veterinary care, spay or neuter, humane euthanasia, or appropriate placement elsewhere, and (4)maintaining the sanitation and appearance of colony premises to prevent odor, parasite, or eyesore nuisances in compliance with City ordinances

(c) EAR TIP - surgical removal of 1/4 of the tip of one ear, performed by a qualified veterinarian during spay or neuter surgery, intended to identify a stray or feral cat as having been spayed or neutered.

(d) FERAL - describing any cat of common domestic breed which is characterized by intense fear of humans, propensity to hide, hiss, bite, scratch, etc. if approached, confined, or handled by humans, and other nondomestic behaviors. Feral cats also demonstrate adaptability to thrive in outdoor environments and inclement weather with minimal or no human assistance, similar to wildlife.

(e) STRAY - describing any cat of common domestic breed which roams at large unclaimed by any person as an owned animal. Stray cats include most feral cats but also cats which are dependent upon human care which have been lost or abandoned.

(f) TNR - acronym for Trap-Neuter-Release or Trap-Neuter-Return, a population control method by which cats are trapped, neutered or spayed, and returned and released to the area in which they had been living as stray or feral cats.

(g) VOLUNTEER - person with vested interest in animal welfare who manages or takes part in management of colonies or TNR activity, who pays out-of-pocket colony management costs, and who has demonstrated sound mental health with regards to animal care, as well as physical and financial ability to commit to providing assistance to stray and feral cats using humane and realistic judgment. Volunteers do not hold ownership rights or responsibilities to the stray and feral cats which they serve unless they choose to adopt any of the cats or kittens which they serve.



A. stray and feral cats roaming free within the City are typically reported as nuisances, trapped by Animal Control, and euthanized at Griffin Pond Animal Shelter due to high demand for animal surrender resources combined with low demand for cat adoption,

B. all such cats roam at large as a result of human failure to keep confined, failure to spay or neuter, and deliberate abandonment of cats once adopted as pets,

C.the current population of stray and feral cats within the City is excessive and thus far uncontrolled by trapping, removal, and euthanasia of approximately over five thousand stray and feral cats and kittens within the last seven years, a significant number of those euthanized observed to be neither unhealthy nor unfriendly by the Scranton Animal Control Officer,

D. stray and feral cats are protected under Pennsylvania State Crime Code 5511C, or Cruelty to Animals,

E. residents of Scranton wishing to surrender unwanted pet cats or found stray cats to Griffin Pond Animal Shelter have reported to the Scranton Animal Control Officer, on numerous occasions, that their request to surrender a cat has been declined or deferred by the shelter, which is one of the few local establishments which provides this service, leaving no humane and legal resources for those with unwanted cats,

F. TNR services at low cost, (not previously available) have recently become available, enabling residents to spay and neuter stray and feral cats only if such cats are to be returned to the location at which they were caught for the cost substantially less than those of taking cats to the shelter for adoption or euthanasia,

G. Scranton Animal Control has observed significant numbers of residents expressing concern for the welfare of stray and feral cats and willing to take actions to assist in their interest, who also show willingness to cooperate with the law, their neighbors, and City officials to humanely decrease Scranton's excessive feline population,

H. TNR as described and intended by this ordinance has been used for over a decade in large municipalities as a standard of Animal Control, and its effectiveness reported for controlling of nuisance cats exceeds the effectiveness of trapping cats as nuisances and having them euthanized, which often has to be done year after year within the City,

I. stray and feral cats present minimal health and safety hazards to humans when vaccinated against the spread of disease (as required by this ordinance), when not handled or responsibly handled by humans, when not kept in unsanitary conditions, in areas of high vehicle traffic, or in close quarters with persons who suffer allergies or other medical conditions; additionally the presence of stray and feral cats has been known to provide the benefit to society of rodent and vermin control,

...the FOLLOWING exception to 169-3 (cats prohibited at large) may be provided for by this ordinance which shall apply to stray and feral cats unclaimed by any person. Such cats are expected to typically live in outdoor environments or uninhabited manmade structures which they have invaded without known deliberate introduction by humans. Any stray or feral cat taken in and cared for by any person is no longer considered stray or feral as described by this ordinance, and whoever has taken such cat into their home has adopted that cat and assumes all responsibilities of ownership.

169-27 Nuisance of cats prohibited on private property.
A. No cat shall create any nuisance upon properties of persons who do not wish presence, noise, odor, or any other indication of stray or feral cats. This ordinance reserves property ownes' access to any Animal Control services for the permanent removal of any nuisance cat upon their property, regardless of cat's association with any colony. Owned cats should be microchipped or identifiable by collar and tag, and can be picked up at the animal shelter if trapped as nuisance cats, after which the owner is required to keep cat indoors.

169-28 Authorization of colonies meeting certain criteria.
A. One or more volunteers may establish or serve existing colonies for the duration of time as those volunteers are providing or taking part in providing all of the following services:
(1) adequate food, water, and shelter to be provided and maintained regularly
(2) ongoing trapping for the purposes of TNR, administration of vaccines against infectious disease, and removal of any kittens for domestication and adoption as applicable
(3) ongoing observation of colonies for new cats, cats in distress, cats showing signs of injury, maladaptation to colony life (in cases of abandoned cats previously dependent on indoor life), disease, pregnancy, severe parasite infestation and/or any other problems for which temporary or permanent removal from the colony is warranted. Volunteers must be willing and able to endeavor trapping or otherwise removing any such cats for purposes of veterinary care, sterilization, or humane euthanasia if necessary.
(4) maintaining the sanitation and appearance of the premises of the colony in compliance with City ordinances to prevent odor, parasite, or eyesore nuisance.

B. No colony may be established in any place or in close proximity to any place where danger to either cats or humans is likely and forseeable as a result of the presence of a colony. This most emphatically excludes the following places as acceptable colony premises: islands between two lanes of a highway, neighborhoods with a high incidence of nuisance cat complaints and known hostility, aversion, and opposition to stray and feral cats, areas along busy main roads, grounds of medical facilities, and grounds of establishments which provide outdoor play areas for young children.

169-29 Ear tip.
A. Sterilized stray or feral cats are to receive ear tip at the time of sterilization surgery to identify that animal as sterilized.

169-30 Offenses against authorized colonies and colony cats
A. Vandalism and/or theft occurring upon or to the diminishment of authorized, responsibly managed colony premises prohibited. Punishable under PA theft and vandalism laws, in which volunteers who have paid for colony resources to be cited as victims of these crimes.

B. Intentional harm by any person to any stray or feral cat is punishable under PA Crimes Code 5511C.

169-31 Tampering with traps prohibited.
A. No person shall remove, steal, damage, or otherwise interfere with cat traps set by City officials or volunteers responsibly maintaining an authorized colony, whether for purposes of nuisance trapping, TNR, or colony health maintenance.

B. No person shall release any cat from a trap set by city officials or volunteers responsibly managing an authorized colony without legitimate purpose, including observation that the cat has been held in trap unattended without access to shelter, food, or water over 24 hours, identification of the trapped cat as a known owned pet, identification of the trapped cat as a nursing mother of kittens too young to survive without maternal sustenance, and negative identification of the trapped cat as specific cat intended to be caught in cases of 169-28 (2) or (3).

169-32 Colony relocation, removal; disposition of colony cats.
A. It is the responsibility of volunteers to apprehend and remove all colony cats when the premises of the colony are subject to changes which render the premises no longer suitable to sustain the feeding, watering, and sheltering of colony cats. These changes include property ownership transfers, written order to remove the colony by the landowner or landholder of the colony premises, changes to the colony premises due to natural phenomena such as flooding or other natural disaster, utility resource construction activity, and any other alteration in the suitability of the colony premises. Volunteers can obtain some assistance with humane removal of the cats from officials and reputable animal rescue organizations.

B. Cats may be removed and colony operations dismantled if volunteers cease to maintain the colony as required by 169-28 A.

C. Disposition of colony cats removed under A and B of this provision may be negotiated by volunteers, officials, and charitable animal welfare organizations if these agents find appropriate successful placements or holding arrangements (pet stores, fosters, etc) for colony cats within sixty days. These placements must not allow cats to be abandoned or subject to inhumane treatment, including gross neglect and overcrowded environments. Otherwise, officials may take custody of any stray or feral cat for transport to the animal shelter.


"I started out a hippie, and I ended up a punk. I'd say the difference was, hippies were trying to believe in the illusion of an alternative world, and punks knew that to create that alternative world something had to be done"
Is punk rock something you grow out of?
"Never! You see, punk rock is like the Mafia. Once you're made, you're made. Punk rock is not the clothes or the music. Punk rock is an attitude, the 'don't-give-me-any-bullshit-'cause-I-can-see-right-through-to-the-heart-of-the-situation' attitude. Because I'm wise to the tricks of the world. We're sick of all the bullshit. Give us some truth. That's the energy of punk rock." - Joe Strummer

current mood: hopeful

(no bother, please do)

Monday, February 1st, 2016
11:29 pm - Closing January
2/1. Mon. The Cute Show with Winnifred Q. Puddinpaws.

And happy birthday to my cousin Julie, Most Likely To Hit Her Head On A Ceiling Fan While Dancing On A Table! She's gettin' hitched in July so that's gonna be awesome!! This is a candid shot I took while she was playing volleyball on Rehoboth beach - she looks like a Sports Illustrated model <3

1/31. Sun. BF took me to the opera again<3 We saw Zeffirelli's Turandot live in HD from the Met. It was a fairytale about a man-hating princess in China. A Nativity classmate of mine happened to be in it, too. Nativity classmates tend to occupy my mind in the wake of one of them getting killed. Ashley was killed on I-81, which I have already had to drive by 4 times for work. There's still burn marks on the highway from it. Bad enough she grew up next door - do I have to drive over the place where she died all the time?? Yes. Best suck it up and have another beer. And go see a nice opera. I told BF it could be my Valentine's Day gift. Live ones are so expensive! He loved how I looked, and insisted I get a shot of the outfit I wore. Jessica the musician I used to work with gave me that dress. She's amazing. I hope Sassafras is playing somewhere soon. The necklace is one of a kind and Jen made it as a gift for me several years ago - I love it. Anyway, Turandot was great!

1/30. Sat. Ganked this from PJ's Instagram because I was there when he took it. Now a seasoned world traveler (just like we used to talk about doing someday when we were in high school), he and I took a tour of the Mall at Steamtown. Here's the train graveyard!

1/29. Fri. Poor Lily! Lily got bit by Ghostie when I tried to foster him. She got a nasty boo-boo and the vet gave her the Cone of Shame. She HATES it. Look at those tortured eyes!

1/28. Thu. Winter Hat PANKED! at the Bog with BF <3 We've been going to these since they were at Test Pattern in 2007.

current mood: okay

(no bother, please do)

Friday, January 29th, 2016
11:20 pm - Prescription for Animal Control: Ballet?
At 32 years old, I've decided to study ballet.

I never liked the idea of dance as a kid. It would have terrified me to dance in front of anyone, let alone other kids, filled to the brim with mean things to say.

I didn't like pink that much.

All the meanest kids took ballet. I was afraid of having to be in their presence even one second longer than my government required.

I'm uncoordinated.

None of that is the same anymore, though. Dance is one of the arts, and I like arts. Other people can suck a goat dick if they have an opinion for the sake of being mean, kids or adults, to me or to anyone doing no harm. The mean kids are either unenviable grown-ups now or they got nice in high school - in both cases, I no longer know them. AND they're no longer to be found in beginner ballet class. I'm as uncoordinated as I was then, but only when my toes are turned out all unnaturally like I had to do in class.

My boyfriend's friends traditionally take roles in the local Nutcracker production, like Mother Ginger. So not only can he fix toilets and rebuild engines - he even takes me to see the ballet. #blessed

We go every year. We also sometimes go to the live operas from the Met that they have at Cinemark. His idea. I just enjoy it.

This year it gave me the idea that ballet - hardcore perfectionist classical-music-driven twirling in tulle ballet - is the farthest thing from animal control, other than the way they both require a lot of physical strength. So feminine and clean-looking and lovely. For 8 hours a day I do a job too dirty for most men's fragile sensibilities, making sure not to wear make-up so that if I'm ever assaulted amid my expeditions into strange men's homes, nobody will be able to say it's my own fault. Further down that line of reasoning was a mental health conclusion: if animal control turns you crazy, then would practicing ballet turn you back sane? Would they balance each other out?

Even if I see no effect to that hypothesis, I'll learn better posture and muscle control. I'll get some low-impact fitness without making BF worry I'm ruining my knees by running too many marathons. Maybe I'll even be able to forget about the latest technically unchargeable suspected puppy murderer, or that I've lost 2 friends to homicide in 6 months. If nothing else, it will be another 2 hours I'm not wasting on the internet, fountain of all things I can't stand. If animal control makes you crazy, going on the internet when you come home is like an enhancing supplement to make you crazier, faster.

Today when I sat down and opened my laptop, I had a vision that looked like the part of a Lifetime movie when the danger music plays and the pretty, previously innocent teen succumbs to temptation at a party, and a montage of hazily-shot drug-taking plays in muted color; a pill on her tongue, the silhouette of a hypodermic needle. I'm the stupid teen and the internet is the drug, the abusive boyfriend, and the teacher who touches her inappropriately all in one.

Yes, ballet, keep me away from it for 2 more hours a week.


Overheard in NYC: "hey Roger, I'm on the broke ass motherfucker diet, where I only eat my hopes and dreams and hope I shit out something successful."

current mood: hopeful

(no bother, please do)

Wednesday, January 27th, 2016
10:52 pm - still remains

1/27 Wed. This is where Ashley and I used to play with puppies. Her dog had a litter and I fell in love with the runt, "Scruffy." She also showed me how to find the nectar in flowers, and her brother used to terrify us with scary stories. After she moved out, it became a drug house or meth lab; then it burned down in August 2001. http://kyoto.livejournal.com/2001/08/06/ I saw Ashley again, though, about 3 years ago at a Halloween party, the night of the Halloween blizzard. Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul, and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

1/26 Tue. Looking for "Lovie," a newly adopted pit bull who escaped at Nay Aug. She went home later that night. :)

1/25 Mon. All we got of "Snowpocalypse '16." Plus it's Carolyn's birthday! So here she is drunk on a roof.

1/24 Sun. Sunset on my street. Got some sad news today. An old friend of mine was killed in a car accident, along with 3 others.
NOT PICTURED: Started Ballet today <3

1/23 Sat. BF built me a good sturdy workbench in my basement. He took it out of a basement, and it appears to be from about the late 1920's, when the wood was old growth northern forest tough as iron. I can put all my weight on it.

1/22 Fri. Poor dog. Worked my arse off and now he's gonna be ok.

current mood: sad

(no bother, please do)

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